Roughing It - Table of Contents

Dedication and Preface

Chapter 1

My Brother appointed Secretary of Nevada--I Envy His Prospective Adventures--Am Appointed Private Secretary Under Him--My Contentment Complete--Packed in One Hour--Dreams and Visions--On the Missouri River-- A Bully Boat

Chapter 2

Arrive at St. Joseph--Only Twenty-five Pounds Baggage Allowed--Farewell to Kid Gloves and Dress Coats--Armed to the Teeth--The "Allen"--A Cheerful Weapon--Persuaded to Buy a Mule--Schedule of Luxuries--We Leave the "States"--"Our Coach"--Mails for the Indians--Between a Wink and an Earthquake--A Modern Sphynx and How She Entertained Us--A Sociable Heifer

Chapter 3

"The Thoroughbrace is Broke"--Mails Delivered Properly--Sleeping Under Difficulties--A Jackass Rabbit Meditating, and on Business--A Modern Gulliver--Sage-brush--Overcoats as an Article of Diet--Sad Fate of a Camel--Warning to Experimenters

Chapter 4

Making Our Bed--Assaults by the Unabridged--At a Station--Our Driver a Great and Shining Dignitary--Strange Place for a Frontyard-- Accommodations--Double Portraits--An Heirloom--Our Worthy Landlord-- "Fixings and Things"--An Exile--Slumgullion--A Well Furnished Table--The Landlord Astonished--Table Etiquette--Wild Mexican Mules--Stage-coaching and Railroading

Chapter 5

New Acquaintances--The Cayote--A Dog's Experiences--A Disgusted Dog--The Relatives of the Cayote--Meals Taken Away from Home

Chapter 6

The Division Superintendent--The Conductor--The Driver--One Hundred and Fifty Miles' Drive Without Sleep--Teaching a Subordinate--Our Old Friend Jack and a Pilgrim--Ben Holliday Compared to Moses

Chapter 7

Overland City--Crossing the Platte--Bemis's Buffalo Hunt--Assault by a Buffalo--Bemis's Horse Goes Crazy--An Impromptu Circus--A New Departure-- Bemis Finds Refuge in a Tree--Escapes Finally by a Wonderful Method

Chapter 8

The Pony Express--Fifty Miles Without Stopping--"Here he Comes"--Alkali Water--Riding an Avalanche--Indian Massacre

Chapter 9

Among the Indians--An Unfair Advantage--Laying on our Arms--A Midnight Murder--Wrath of Outlaws--A Dangerous, yet Valuable Citizen

Chapter 10

History of Slade--A Proposed Fist-fight--Encounter with Jules--Paradise of Outlaws--Slade as Superintendent--As Executioner--A Doomed Whisky Seller--A Prisoner--A Wife's Bravery--An Ancient Enemy Captured--Enjoying a Luxury--Hob-nobbing with Slade--Too Polite--A Happy Escape

Chapter 11

Slade in Montana--"On a Spree"--In Court--Attack on a Judge--Arrest by the Vigilantes--Turn out of the Miners--Execution of Slade--Lamentations of His Wife--Was Slade a Coward?

Chapter 12

A Mormon Emigrant Train--The Heart of the Rocky Mountains--Pure Saleratus--A Natural Ice-House--An Entire Inhabitant--In Sight of "Eternal Snow"--The South Pass--The Parting Streams--An Unreliable Letter Carrier--Meeting of Old Friends--A Spoiled Watermelon--Down the Mountain- -A Scene of Desolation--Lost in the Dark--Unnecessary Advice--U.S. Troops and Indians--Sublime Spectacle--Another Delusion Dispelled--Among the Angels

Chapter 13

Mormons and Gentiles--Exhilarating Drink, and its Effect on Bemis--Salt Lake City--A Great Contrast--A Mormon Vagrant--Talk with a Saint--A Visit to the "King"--A Happy Simile

Chapter 14

Mormon Contractors--How Mr. Street Astonished Them--The Case Before Brigham Young, and How he Disposed of it--Polygamy Viewed from a New Position

Chapter 15

A Gentile Den--Polygamy Discussed--Favorite Wife and D. 4--Hennery for Retired Wives--Children Need Marking--Cost of a Gift to No. 6--A Penny- whistle Gift and its Effects--Fathering the Foundlings--It Resembled Him --The Family Bedstead

Chapter 15

The Mormon Bible--Proofs of its Divinity--Plagiarism of its Authors-- Story of Nephi--Wonderful Battle--Kilkenny Cats Outdone

Chapter 17

Three Sides to all Questions--Everything "A Quarter"--Shriveled Up-- Emigrants and White Shirts at a Discount--"Forty-Niners"--Above Par--Real Happiness

Chapter 18

Alkali Desert--Romance of Crossing Dispelled--Alkali Dust--Effect on the Mules--Universal Thanksgiving

Chapter 19

The Digger Indians Compared with the Bushmen of Africa--Food, Life and Characteristics--Cowardly Attack on a Stage Coach--A Brave Driver--The Noble Red Man

Chapter 20

The Great American Desert--Forty Miles on Bones--Lakes Without Outlets-- Greely's Remarkable Ride--Hank Monk, the Renowned Driver--Fatal Effects of "Corking" a Story--Bald-Headed Anecdote

Chapter 21

Alkali Dust--Desolation and Contemplation--Carson City--Our Journey Ended--We are Introduced to Several Citizens--A Strange Rebuke--A Washoe Zephyr at Play--Its Office Hours--Governor's Palace--Government Offices-- Our French Landlady Bridget O'Flannigan--Shadow Secrets--Cause for a Disturbance at Once--The Irish Brigade--Mrs. O'Flannigan's Boarders--The Surveying Expedition--Escape of the Tarantulas

Chapter 22

The Son of a Nabob--Start for Lake Tahoe--Splendor of the Views--Trip on the Lake--Camping Out--Reinvigorating Climate--Clearing a Tract of Land-- Securing a Title--Outhouse and Fences

Chapter 23

A Happy Life--Lake Tahoe and its Moods--Transparency of the Waters--A Catastrophe--Fire! Fire!--A Magnificent Spectacle--Homeless Again--We take to the Lake--A Storm--Return to Carson

Chapter 24

Resolve to Buy a Horse--Horsemanship in Carson--A Temptation--Advice Given Me Freely--I Buy the Mexican Plug--My First Ride--A Good Bucker--I Loan the Plug--Experience of Borrowers--Attempts to Sell--Expense of the Experiment--A Stranger Taken In

Chapter 25

The Mormons in Nevada--How to Persuade a Loan from Them--Early History of the Territory--Silver Mines Discovered--The New Territorial Government--A Foreign One and a Poor One--Its Funny Struggles for Existence--No Credit, no Cash--Old Abe Currey Sustains it and its Officers--Instructions and Vouchers--An Indian's Endorsement--Toll-Gates

Chapter 26

The Silver Fever--State of the Market--Silver Bricks--Tales Told--Off for the Humboldt Mines

Chapter 27

Our manner of going--Incidents of the Trip--A Warm but Too Familiar a Bedfellow--Mr. Ballou Objects--Sunshine amid Clouds--Safely Arrived

Chapter 28

Arrive at the Mountains--Building Our Cabin--My First Prospecting Tour-- My First Gold Mine--Pockets Filled With Treasures--Filtering the News to My Companions--The Bubble Pricked--All Not Gold That Glitters

Chapter 29

Out Prospecting--A Silver Mine At Last--Making a Fortune With Sledge and Drill--A Hard Road to Travel--We Own in Claims--A Rocky Country

Chapter 30

Disinterested Friends--How "Feet" Were Sold--We Quit Tunnelling--A Trip to Esmeralda--My Companions--An Indian Prophesy--A Flood--Our Quarters During It

Chapter 31

The Guests at "Honey Lake Smith's"--"Bully Old Arkansas"--"Our Landlord"- -Determined to Fight--The Landlord's Wife--The Bully Conquered by Her-- Another Start--Crossing the Carson--A Narrow Escape--Following Our Own Track--A New Guide--Lost in the Snow

Chapter 32

Desperate Situation--Attempts to Make a Fire--Our Horses leave us--We Find Matches--One, Two, Three and the Last--No Fire--Death Seems Inevitable--We Mourn Over Our Evil Lives--Discarded Vices--We Forgive Each Other--An Affectionate Farewell--The Sleep of Oblivion

Chapter 33

Return of Consciousness--Ridiculous Developments--A Station House--Bitter Feelings--Fruits of Repentance--Resurrected Vices

Chapter 34

About Carson--General Buncombe--Hyde vs. Morgan--How Hyde Lost His Ranch- -The Great Landslide Case--The Trial--General Buncombe in Court--A Wonderful Decision--A Serious Afterthought

Chapter 35

A New Travelling Companion--All Full and No Accommodations--How Captain Nye found Room--and Caused Our Leaving to be Lamented--The Uses of Tunnelling--A Notable Example--We Go into the "Claim" Business and Fail-- At the Bottom

Chapter 36

A Quartz Mill--Amalgamation--"Screening Tailings"--First Quartz Mill in Nevada--Fire Assay--A Smart Assayer--I stake for an advance

Chapter 37

The Whiteman Cement Mine--Story of its Discovery--A Secret Expedition--A Nocturnal Adventure--A Distressing Position--A Failure and a Week's Holiday

Chapter 38

Mono Lake--Shampooing Made Easy--Thoughtless Act of Our Dog and the Results--Lye Water--Curiosities of the Lake--Free Hotel--Some Funny Incidents a Little Overdrawn

Chapter 39

Visit to the Islands in Lake Mono--Ashes and Desolation--Life Amid Death Our Boat Adrift--A Jump For Life--A Storm On the Lake--A Mass of Soap Suds--Geological Curiosities--A Week On the Sierras--A Narrow Escape From a Funny Explosion--"Stove Heap Gone"

Chapter 40

The "Wide West" Mine--It is "Interviewed" by Higbie--A Blind Lead--Worth a Million--We are Rich At Last--Plans for the Future

Chapter 41

A Rheumatic Patient--Day Dreams--An Unfortunate Stumble--I Leave Suddenly--Another Patient--Higbie in the Cabin--Our Balloon Bursted-- Worth Nothing--Regrets and Explanations--Our Third Partner

Chapter 42

What to do Next?--Obstacles I Had Met With--"Jack of All Trades"--Mining Again--Target Shooting--I Turn City Editor--I Succeed Finely

Chapter 43

My Friend Boggs--The School Report--Boggs Pays Me An Old Debt--Virginia City

Chapter 44

Flush Times--Plenty of Stock--Editorial Puffing--Stocks Given Me--Salting Mines--A Tragedian In a New Role

Chapter 45

Flush Times Continue--Sanitary Commission Fund--Wild Enthusiasm of the People--Would not wait to Contribute--The Sanitary Flour Sack--It is Carried to Gold Hill and Dayton--Final Reception in Virginia--Results of the Sale--A Grand Total

Chapter 46

The Nabobs of Those Days--John Smith as a Traveler--Sudden Wealth--A Sixty-Thousand-Dollar Horse--A Smart Telegraph Operator--A Nabob in New York City--Charters an Omnibus--"Walk in, It's All Free"--"You Can't Pay a Cent"--"Hold On, Driver, I Weaken"--Sociability of New Yorkers

Chapter 47

Buck Fanshaw's Death--The Cause Thereof--Preparations for His Burial-- Scotty Briggs the Committee Man--He Visits the Minister--Scotty Can't Play His Hand--The Minister Gets Mixed--Both Begin to See--"All Down Again But Nine"--Buck Fanshaw as a Citizen--How To "Shook Your Mother"-- The Funeral--Scotty Briggs as a Sunday School Teacher

Chapter 48

The First Twenty-Six Graves in Nevada--The Prominent Men of the County-- The Man Who Had Killed His Dozen--Trial by Jury--Specimen Jurors--A Private Grave Yard--The Desperadoes--Who They Killed--Waking up the Weary Passenger--Satisfaction Without Fighting

Chapter 49

Fatal Shooting Affray--Robbery and Desperate Affray--A Specimen City Official--A Marked Man--A Street Fight--Punishment of Crime

Chapter 50

Captain Ned Blakely--Bill Nookes Receives Desired Information--Killing of Blakely's Mate--A Walking Battery--Blakely Secures Nookes--Hang First and Be Tried Afterwards--Captain Blakely as a Chaplain--The First Chapter of Genesis Read at a Hanging--Nookes Hung--Blakely's Regrets

Chapter 51

The Weekly Occidental--A Ready Editor--A Novel--A Concentration of Talent--The Heroes and the Heroines--The Dissolute Author Engaged-- Extraordinary Havoc With the Novel--A Highly Romantic Chapter--The Lovers Separated--Jonah Out-done--A Lost Poem--The Aged Pilot Man--Storm On the Erie Canal--Dollinger the Pilot Man--Terrific Gale--Danger Increases--A Crisis Arrived--Saved as if by a Miracle

Chapter 52

Freights to California--Silver Bricks--Under Ground Mines--Timber Supports--A Visit to the Mines--The Caved Mines--Total of Shipments in 1863

Chapter 53

Jim Blaine and his Grandfather's Ram--Filkin's Mistake--Old Miss Wagner and her Glass Eye--Jacobs, the Coffin Dealer--Waiting for a Customer--His Bargain With Old Robbins--Robbins Sues for Damage and Collects--A New Use for Missionaries--The Effect--His Uncle Lem. and the Use Providence Made of Him--Sad Fate of Wheeler--Devotion of His Wife--A Model Monument--What About the Ram?

Chapter 54

Chinese in Virginia City--Washing Bills--Habit of Imitation--Chinese Immigration--A Visit to Chinatown--Messrs. Ah Sing, Hong Wo, See Yup, &c.

Chapter 55

Tired of Virginia City--An Old Schoolmate--A Two Years' Loan--Acting as an Editor--Almost Receive an Offer--An Accident--Three Drunken Anecdotes --Last Look at Mt. Davidson--A Beautiful Incident

Chapter 56

Off for San Francisco--Western and Eastern Landscapes--The Hottest place on Earth--Summer and Winter

Chapter 57

California--Novelty of Seeing a Woman--"Well if it ain't a Child!"--One Hundred and Fifty Dollars for a Kiss--Waiting for a turn

Chapter 58

Life in San Francisco--Worthless Stocks--My First Earthquake--Reportorial Instincts--Effects of the Shocks--Incidents and Curiosities--Sabbath Breakers--The Lodger and the Chambermaid--A Sensible Fashion to Follow-- Effects of the Earthquake on the Ministers

Chapter 59

Poor Again--Slinking as a Business--A Model Collector--Misery loves Company--Comparing Notes for Comfort--A Streak of Luck--Finding a Dime-- Wealthy by Comparison--Two Sumptuous Dinners

Chapter 60

An Old Friend--An Educated Miner--Pocket Mining--Freaks of Fortune

Chapter 61

Dick Baker and his Cat--Tom Quartz's Peculiarities--On an Excursion-- Appearance On His Return--A Prejudiced Cat--Empty Pockets and a Roving Life

Chapter 62

Bound for the Sandwich Islands--The Three Captains--The Old Admiral--His Daily Habits--His Well Fought Fields--An Unexpected Opponent--The Admiral Overpowered--The Victor Declared a Hero

Chapter 63

Arrival at the Islands--Honolulu--What I Saw There--Dress and Habits of the Inhabitants--The Animal Kingdom--Fruits and Delightful Effects

Chapter 64

An Excursion--Captain Phillips and his Turn-Out--A Horseback Ride--A Vicious Animal--Nature and Art--Interesting Ruins--All Praise to the Missionaries

Chapter 65

Interesting Mementoes and Relics--An Old Legend of a Frightful Leap--An Appreciative Horse--Horse Jockeys and Their Brothers--A New Trick--A Hay Merchant--Good Country for Horse Lovers

Chapter 66

A Saturday Afternoon--Sandwich Island Girls on a Frolic--The Poi Merchant--Grand Gala Day--A Native Dance--Church Membership--Cats and Officials--An Overwhelming Discovery

Chapter 67

The Legislature of the Island--What Its President Has Seen--Praying for an Enemy--Women's Rights--Romantic Fashions--Worship of the Shark--Desire for Dress--Full Dress--Not Paris Style--Playing Empire--Officials and Foreign Ambassadors--Overwhelming Magnificence

Chapter 68

A Royal Funeral--Order of Procession--Pomp and Ceremony--A Striking Contrast--A Sick Monarch--Human Sacrifices at His Death--Burial Orgies

Chapter 69

"Once more upon the Waters."--A Noisy Passenger--Several Silent Ones--A Moonlight Scene--Fruits and Plantations

Chapter 70

A Droll Character--Mrs. Beazely and Her Son--Meditations on Turnips--A Letter from Horace Greeley--An Indignant Rejoinder--The Letter Translated but too Late

Chapter 71

Kealakekua Bay--Death of Captain Cook--His Monument--Its Construction--On Board the Schooner

Chapter 72

Young Kanakas in New England--A Temple Built by Ghosts--Female Bathers--I Stood Guard--Women and Whiskey--A Fight for Religion--Arrival of Missionaries

Chapter 73

Native Canoes--Surf Bathing--A Sanctuary--How Built--The Queen's Rock-- Curiosities--Petrified Lava

Chapter 74

Visit to the Volcano--The Crater--Pillar of Fire--Magnificent Spectacle-- A Lake of Fire

Chapter 75

The North Lake--Fountains of Fire--Streams of Burning Lava--Tidal Waves

Chapter 76

A Reminiscence--Another Horse Story--My Ride with the Retired Milk Horse- -A Picnicing Excursion--Dead Volcano of Holeakala--Comparison with Vesuvius--An Inside View

Chapter 77

A Curious Character--A Series of Stories--Sad Fate of a Liar--Evidence of Insanity

Chapter 78

Return to San Francisco--Ship Amusements--Preparing for Lecturing-- Valuable Assistance Secured--My First Attempt--The Audience Carried-- "All's Well that Ends Well."

Chapter 79

Highwaymen--A Predicament--A Huge Joke--Farewell to California--At Home Again--Great Changes. Moral.

Appendix A--Brief Sketch of Mormon History

Appendix B--The Mountain Meadows Massacre

Appendix C--Concerning a Frightful Assassination that was never Consummated

Back to Alan's Mark Twain Library